swipe a ring and kidnap a priest

Hiding in the back of his head like one of those Krang-level ugly deep sea fish that nobody can get deep enough to kill, Bebop had a list of times he had been realy, really cool about where Rocksteady was concerned.

Bebop had put up and shut up when his bestest friend had fallen for April O-God-Why-Aren’t-You-Dead-Yet Neil. Sure, watching him surreptitiously sniff her hair and give her left tit a quick squeeze to make sure it wasn’t fake had been a little bit off-putting. But he got it; aphro-dizzy-ack, or whatever the boss had called it. He got it. He’d hung around to make sure the big guy didn’t actually try and rape her- which he hadn’t, cause Rocksteady just wasn’t that kind of guy- and he’d laughed like hell about it later while Rocky hid under his bed and muttered darkly.

Bebop had been reasonable when Rocksteady had taken to stalking that model. Blew it off with a flick of his ear and his earring, blew it off with a fuck-you smile and a don’t-let-the-door-hit-you-in-the-ass-old-buddy wink behind his Hollywood shades and watched it all fall nicely to pieces. Rocksteady got caught and Bebop had bailed him out with money that the boss had forked over. And they’d both gotten yelled at when they got back to the Technodrome, because Shredder knew enough to know that one of them was always the other’s keeper, and when only one of them fucked up it was the other's fault for not stopping him.

Bebop had been understanding when Rocksteady had shoved him against the humming Technodrome wall and growled, “I ain’t gay, Bebop.” Sure, Rocky. Whatever you gotta think.

And yeah, yeah, he’d even been cool when Rocksteady had stopped halfway through sucking him off in their top bunk to frown, stare at him and roll off, growling that Bebop’s mohawk was the wrong colour. “Uh…why, my bestest friend?” “It ain’t blue. Blue’s a cool colour. Pink’s just sissy.” “It is magenta, you dope.”

Which, upon reflection, had been a stupid thing to say; it only made him sound even more like some nancy little fairy queer from Faggot Eye for the Fucking Ugly Guy. Which had to be what was bothering Rocksteady; after all, he was a tough guy, and tough guys didn’t want little faggot boyfriends. They wanted tough boyfriends. That was what Bebop assumed.

Which was where he had been, apparently, wrong.

God, he’d even been cool when they were six and Rocksteady had cowered behind Bebop while his mom went for them with the frying pan. Had had no choice but to be cool, really; he’d been in a coma for five days.

This, though, this just wasn’t cool. Watching Rocky slam the turtle against the ground on a bright, sunny day, that wasn't cool. Watching Rocky drag his huge, rhino tongue over the shellback's face. Watching Rocky jack Leonardo until they were both panting and clutching and no, the turtle wasn’t complaining; Rocksteady just wasn’t that kind of guy, although Bebop was starting to wonder what kind of guy he thought he fucking was. And yes, they had definitely done this before; Little Boy Blue knew just where to put his hands and just how to stroke Rocky’s ears and…

Bebop was a pretty cool guy in general, he was, and he kind of wondered when he’d raised the rifle. It made a loud click as he cocked it in the sunlight, not unlike the click of April O-Fuck-You-In-The-Eye Neil’s teeth snapping shut as she’d tried to bite Rocksteady’s dirty fingers off. It certainly got their wide-eyed attention.

“Uh,” Leonardo said, looking like he was about to faint. Ugly fish, Bebop thought, especially with the bite marks all over him.

“Uh,” Rocksteady said, looking like he was about to run for it.

“Rocksteady, old chum, I really hate blue,” Bebop growled, and started firing randomly.

Five hours later, when Rocksteady was salving the laser burns on his ass, Bebop trudged over and punched his diamond-hard shoulderblade.

"Hey, it's okay."

Rocksteady muttered something, bowed his head and sniffled quietly. Bebop sighed and ran thick fingers over his friends's ears because he understood that Rocksteady did not really get how to be cool.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.